2006 ~ 08.29

twilight star - original mix (feat. IA) - clean tears

hello denizens of the web~ ( ´ ▿ ` ) i hope everyone's been having a great summer!

what i've been up to lately: binge-watching creamy mami, modding my switch, thrift hunting for a cute cd player (no luck so far T ^ T). i've also been watching tenmaku no jaadugar & meitantei precure every week. cure answer
and cure mystique are some of my favourite cures now, so so cute~. it's been a long time since i've watched precure while it's airing and i forgot how much fun it is. definitely need to keep up with it from now on

now onto the main topic for this blog post, my suru package finally came in the mail~ after four months on a boat, it finally arrived on my doorstep Σ(＞Д＜) it's mostly game-related cds (demonbane, djibril, bistro cupid), comics,
and artbooks. the demonbane anime drama cd, bistro cupid desktop accessories + theme song cd are sealed there's also some calendars from 2005+2008, doujin, and a bistro cupid voice alarm clock

the definite highlight was a near-complete collection of key the metal idol on vhs that i somehow managed to snag for just ¥400. the listing had been on my watch list for a while
but i thought it was too good to be true. no one had bid on it after a couple months so i decided to just bite the bullet. even if they didn't work, it'd be a cool thing to own regardless.

the vhs tapes were absolutely caked in dirt, which is pretty much what i expected. the next 2 days were spent cleaning them to the best of my ability. when they were all prettied up i was really proud of them the next
afternoon i sat down to test them, with some coffee to keep me company of course. to my luck, not a single tape has any issues!! i was in disbelief. it also looks spectacular on my crt, really feels like this is how the show was
meant to be watched. it felt so blissful watching one of my favourite anime on my crt, the tapes i had cleaned so meticulously and waited a third of a year to arrive. the cases have seen better days so i was thinking
of replacing them, but they have the pony canyon branding which is cool so i thought i'd keep them. these tapes are gonna be getting a lot of use from now on~

key the metal idol is one of my favourite anime ever, it permanently rewired my brain. it also introduced me to my favourite character of all time, hikaru tsurugi
it's an absolute gem and i can't recommend it enough - check it out if you get the chance!

this august i started playing chrono cross (radical dreamers edition) as my first game on my modded switch. i've been bedridden pretty much the entire year, so i modded my switch so i could play jrpgs in bed~!
chrono cross is a game i've wanted to play for what feels like an eternity. one of those games i said i'd get around to eventually but never did. it's been ages since i played a proper jrpg.
for the past few years i've put them on the backburner in favour of vns (unintentionally - oops). it feels so good to finally play one again. humans were meant to play jrpgs...

the music and visuals of CC are something i've seen countless times on the net over the years, it's nice to finally experience them for myself. even if you haven't played the game i don't think there are many gamers who
haven't heard at least one of the tracks on the OST. i've heard so many bad things about the battle theme but it absolutely slaps, everyone lied to me!! the elements system is still kinda going over my head, but i'm hoping i'll get the hang
of it as time goes on. viper manor was absolutely kicking my ass, really really cool area though. the dragon-feeding game gave me a chill as it was just so eerie. i'm surprised i was even able to make it out of the manor
with my horrible weapons and sub-par grasp of the elements tbh. somehow i had more trouble with ketchop than marcy though, LOL. the layout of the planetarium is a lot like the observatorium
in the coerthas central highlands (ffxiv), another game i picked up recently. i also really wanted to get guile in my party but i missed him and recruited pierre by accident... oops.
after going through viper manor together though i've kind of gotten attached to my weird little french guy. terrible stats be damned, you're staying with me!!!

[spoilers]

after the manor i took an entire week's break to decide whether or not to save kid. it felt like a decision that would heavily affect my first impression of the game. i ended up choosing to save her - we went through viper
manor together, how could i abandon her? lynx's reveal that she's in the radical dreamers also really interested me and i wanted to see what that's all about. super excited to see what else this game has in store~

P.S. trying out a new layout for the diary which i think has better visibility. everything was a lot lighter before which i liked but oh well sacrifices must be made

to unseal or not to unseal?

2006 ~ 03.28 oceanus - hiroyuki oda

hi everyone!

over the years i've accumulated a myriad of different sealed items - retro games, eroge, and pc software. for the majority of my collector life i've kept everything sealed, but lately i've been opening things more and more. for those of you who are into collecting older memorabilia, i'm sure you're no stranger to that distinct musty smell that often plagues a lot of older merch. i used to think it was solely due to improper storage, but i'm not so sure anymore. a lot of my items that were kept in proper conditions (allegedly) from the previous owner still have that smell. recently i opened a sealed eroge from 2008 and the smell was an instant KO if smells could kill that would be it. it looked fine from a visual standpoint but it reeked like it'd been sitting at the bottom of a damp well for the past 18 years. after 2 weeks of airing everything out, the smell has gotten about 80% better but still remains. does anyone know if it's just an unfortunate consequence of aging? i'd like to think not, since some of my sealed stuff from as far back as 1998 has no smell whatsoever. plastic seems to fare better than paper, followed by cardboard, which is the worst offender by far. book paper seems to be especially prone. a lot of the comic anthologies & light novels in my collection smell so bad i had to banish them to a shelf in the corner of my room so that their stink can't infect anything else.

lately i've grown conflicted on whether or not to keep things sealed. on one hand it's really cool to preserve something in its original state, but i also can't help but wonder if having the item contained in shrink wrap will just help to degrade the item over time. it certainly does that for figures. packaging aside, it could also be affecting the software. the monetary value aspect is useless to me - everything i collect is solely for me to enjoy, and i don't plan on ever pawning off my stuff. i'm going to keep my beloved possessions until i die. so now i'm plagued with the 'to unseal or not to unseal' question. for now i guess i'll keep everything that smells ok sealed, and unseal others on a case-to-case basis.

it's stressful in a way, because i want to hand off my things to other otaku in the best condition possible after i die. ever since i was a kid i've always been really neurotic about caring for my things. this is a trait that's followed me into adulthood. i used to hate being like this, as it was stressful for me when things got minor blemishes. but i came to peace with it eventually when i realized it has its advantages too. this guarantees that not only i can enjoy them for as long as i possibly can, but other people can do. as an otaku & collector, you have kind of a silent duty to protect things of the past that will be carried on into the future. doujin, eroge, pc software, figures - these are things that can never be made in their original state ever again after the creators pass on or the means of production end. even if you plan to keep something forever, we all die someday, and everything will eventually end up in the hands of another. it's like when you see someone's entire life collection in a secondhand shop, and you think "damn, what otaku died?" someone else after you will pick those things up, wonder about who owned them before, enjoy them, and maybe thank you in their head for taking care of them so well. surely this isn't just a me thing - when i buy something that's decades old and it arrives in mint condition as if it's never been touched by human hands, you just feel so much respect for the previous owner. it's like a ceremonial passing of the torch. i can feel that they truly cherished it, and it makes me happy.

2006 ~ 01.01

keep hope alive - toshiaki otsubo

hello everyone - happy 2026!

2025 seems to have been a rough year for a lot of people, me included. most of my time was spent doing nothing of note - my chronic illness flared up pretty much every month, leaving me devoid of energy (and time, spent recovering). i spent the final month and a half of the year fighting viral illness and infections that landed me in the ER several times. the weeks passed by in a blur, and now here i am in the new year. during that time i lost 10 pounds from cyclic vomiting and ceased feeling like a person. thankfully, my stomach is now recovered enough to enjoy coffee again. that first sip felt just as good as tasting it for the first time

suffice to say i didn't reach any of my creative goals this year. one of them was to revamp this site and add the things i've been planning to for ages. this was put to a halt not just because of my health, but also because of my poor coding know-how. this site was started way back in 2017 and never thought i'd still be updating it all these years later. i didn't know how to code (and still don't lol), so i just looked for whatever html/css i needed on the web and crossed my fingers. i was so sure that no one would actually look at my site, and had no idea that i would meet so many cool people!

due to the... less-than-satisfactory state of the internet nowadays, neocities is one of the last places left that brings me true serenity. it somehow feels cut off from the rest of the web, like a tiny island in the middle of the ocean that's hidden from normal view. my plan for 2025 was to grow my site and nurture this space, but every time i tried to code anything even a little advanced, i'd get stuck in a roadblock of broken code. i'm really envious of people who are proficient in coding and view it as second nature - it's really impressive. i tend to see people say it's easier than it looks and that eventually it just "clicks", but that hasn't been my experience sadly... i know it's unproductive to beat yourself up too much, but i wish i didn't have such a horrible propensity for anything to do with formulas...!

this site is something i cherish deeply, and even though it's pretty barebones at the moment i feel like it's grown alongside me all these years. it's hard to explain, but after nearly a decade it really does feel like a part of me and somewhere i can express my true self. there are so many things i want to share with the world, even if nobody's listening. like many, i often feel limited by my own abilities, but humans have endless opportunity to grow. despite all the bumps in the road, i do want to keep trying. i'm going to attempt html/css from the beginning, and hopefully i can make some progress this year, even if it's small. it might take 'til i'm 80 to do everything i want with my site, but that just means i have plenty of time~

wishing everyone good health and a happy new year—!!

diary open ᜊ( ' ⩊ '𖦹)ᜊ

01.26 ~ 2005 JOHNNY'S - racing lagoon OST

got the last part for my pc in the mail today! this will be the first time in my life having a proper pc of my own and not just a laptop. i'm really excited but also nervous to build it, i'm probably gonna put it off for a few days from the nerves LOL... in the meantime i need to pick up a cute side table for it~ btw this is a super super SUPER budget pc. when i sent my build in some help forums for advice, pretty much every response i got was "what is that part? never even heard of it" "isn't that super old?" "this is cheap even for cheap standards" and so on but it can't be helped. honestly, i'm happy just to have one in the first place. i'm sure it'll turn on... right???

on another note, i started muv-luv extra and have been enjoying it immensely~ it keeps sprinkling in all the things i love — fei-yen, the dreamcast, the ps2, initial d, and most important of all... yakisoba-pan it's too early for me to be attached to anyone in the main cast quite yet, but everyone is really likeable so far. usually when i don't have an interest in at least one character it's a slog for me to get through a game, but extra has been so fun that it hasn't been a problem so far. i think i'll probably forever associate muv-luv with january since the weather in-game is the exact same as it has been outside where i live. very snowy, super super cozy~ every time i hang out with the cast it feels like we're chilling in my real-life town. the SOL has been very enjoyable and i'm not sure why so many people say to skip extra and go straight to unlimited. it seems like every time this happens i always end up really enjoying the parts of a vn a lot of people hate. well, you know what that means... more for me!!!

i hope you all are doing well out there! i've been wanting to start a diary on my site for years, but i find writing difficult (i'm shy as well) so it took a bit of courage... i've had this webpage since 2017, which is over 7 years ago now (a little hard to believe). many people have come and gone, and i've somehow amassed 200,000+ views and guestbook comments from some very kind people the messages people have left behind have given me a lot of strength, and i re-read them often. i don't view my site as particularly interesting, as it was originally just supposed to be a sort of personal thing for myself... despite this, i hope people are able to find comfort from this little space on the world wide web